SATIRE: Citizens Rejoice As Trump Announces Ban on New Twilight Book


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It’s been a long time since fans of the Twilight books have fought over whether “Team Jacob” or “Team Edward” is better. Now, that debate may be resurfacing again. Earlier this week Stephenie Meyer announced via her website that she would be releasing her newest addition to the Twilight series, Midnight Sun, in August.

The vampire-themed books that featured Bella Swan swooning over the pale and sullen-looking vampire, Edward Cullen and werewolf Jacob Black, both of whom, in turn, fought over Bella, were highly popular among teenagers. The books were eventually turned into a movie series featuring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner. 

While the initial books were told from the perspective of Bella Swan, Midnight Sun will this time feature Edward Cullen’s side of the story. 

Midnight Sun was initially supposed to have been released back in 2008, but was put on hold due to part of the manuscript being leaked online. As a result of the leak, Meyers said that she was devastated. Meyers explained that “It is important for everybody to understand that what happened was a huge violation of my rights as an author, not to mention me as a human being.”

While Meyer’s announcement has been met with some excitement, it has drawn criticism from several people including President Donald Trump. 

Early Friday morning the President gave a press conference announcing that he would be signing an Executive Order banning the release of the New Twilight book.

In his statement to the press, President Trump explained, “This release will be very detrimental not only to our teenagers but to our economy,” adding that “We are already dealing with trying to reboot our economy after the Coronavirus, we don’t need people living in fear of vampires.”

There has not yet been a response from Stephenie Meyer on the President’s announcement to ban Midnight Sun.

The President is expected to sign his Executive Order by the end of the day Tuesday.

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