SATIRE: Texas Finishes Northern Border Wall, Thwarts FBI, Kamala


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Texas announced earlier today that it had completed the previously unfinished portion of the border wall. “We’re proud to have taken this vital step towards ensuring the safety of Texans,” the governor’s office said in a statement. Prior to completion, a steady stream of refugees had flooded the state’s northern border.

“We feel great concern for American asylum seekers” Texas attorney general Samuel “Gunslinger” Cuernavaca told reporters.

“Most of them are good people, but our patrols have picked up quite a few suspicious individuals among the innocent border jumpers and carpetbaggers.”

According to law enforcement, the suspicious individuals have included members of the FBI, a government-backed cartel best known for kidnapping conservative Americans at the behest of the Biden-Harris regime. Kidnapped individuals are not given due process of law, but are forced to sing “God Save the Queen” whenever shown a picture of either Kamala Harris or Hillary Clinton.

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