COVID-19 ‘RELIEF’ BILL: Here’s Where Your Money is Really Going.


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The White House’s website, which can be reached by typing into your favorite browser (no, really!) now has a page devoted to Joe Biden’s recently-signed $1.9 trillion stimulus bill.  The page doesn’t link to the text of the bill (it’s better for Biden if Americans don’t read it) but it can be found by clicking here.  I just went through it with my “lawyer’s eyes,” and I’ll sum up the spending.

What’s in it? 

Well, to start with, over 100,000 words.

Then there’s the $1.9 trillion part (19 followed by eleven zeros).  It’s enough to give every American citizen, from the child who was born yesterday to the 100-year-old World War II veteran, over $6,000.

Instead, adult taxpayers who earn less than $75,000, or are married and have a joint income of under $150,000 – will get back their 23% share of the $6,000 dollars each American spent on the bill, or exactly 1,400 greenbacks each (and I thought gambling was a bad investment!).

Where does the rest of the money go?  Well, if you know the right member of Congress, or happen to meet the right criteria, maybe it’s coming to you!  Let’s find out.

One of the first items, section 1005, is titled: “Farm Loan Assistance for Socially Disadvantaged Farmers and Ranchers.”  Being from a rural area myself, and having helped my family make several thousand dollars a year growing strawberries as a kid, my first thought was: “How wonderful!  I know a lot of disadvantaged farmers.” 

Alas, most of them don’t “fit the bill.”  The new law defines “socially disadvantaged farmers” as those who have “been subjected to racial or ethnic prejudice.”  In other words, you don’t qualify for the $4 billion being spent on this section if you are white (which excludes ninety-five percent of my dirt-poor (pun fully intended) childhood community).  Does it count if some of them have a farmer’s tan?   

Then there’s section 2003, the “Higher Education Emergency Relief Fund.”  That money – $39.6 billion in total – goes to the U.S. Department of Education, to give away to colleges.  Private universities, according to U.S. News & World Report, charged, per student, an average of $35,000 in tuition for the 2020-2021 school year, while public universities averaged between $10,000 and $21,000.  Of course, tuition doesn’t include money for books, laptops, housing, food, or any other needs a student has, so colleges make money off of those, too.  They also charged the above prices last year despite the fact that they weren’t even using their physical classrooms.  They sure are hurting!

Section 2012 of the act hands out another $5 million to the Department of Education…primarily for salary increases.  What would we do if our federal workers couldn’t get rich off of emergency relief?

Section 2021 gives the National Endowment for the Arts a cool $135 million (because COVID!).

Section 2302 earmarks $1 billion to strengthen public confidence in the COVID-19 vaccine, and vaccines in general.  In other words, the government just voted itself a billion dollars in advertising money, some of it not even related to the pandemic. 

Section 2401 gives the Secretary of Health and Human Services $47.8 billion for COVID “contact tracing, surveillance, and mitigation.”  In essence, Biden handed one of his soon-to-be-confirmed political appointments (former California Attorney General Xavier Becerra) nearly $48 billion to keep track of Americans (not creepy at all). 

Section 2605 gives $50 million to “family planning” organizations, like America’s leading abortion butcher Planned Parenthood (if you want to learn about Planned Parenthood’s unbelievably evil past and present, read my book, sold here). 

Section 2704 gives $1.5 billion for the prevention and treatment of substance abuse, which the government has been overwhelmingly successful at in the past (sarcasm).  It might be better to simply stop the drugs from pouring through the southern border, but what do I know?  I’m just the son of a man who screwed up his life with illegal drugs.  The fact that I ended up taking student trips to Mexico and learning to speak fluent Spanish, not to mention doing work as an attorney in criminal law, gives me no special insight, unless…wait, can I form a special interest group and get some money?

Section 3401 spends $30 billion on public transportation funds (remember, the bill is only about coronavirus relief).    

Section 6002 grants $50 million to fight “environmental concerns” affecting minorities. 

Section 6003 ensures that the United States Fish and Wildlife Service will get $95 million to do things like fight “wildlife trafficking.”  Does wildlife include Hunter Biden?

Section 4004 gives the White House $12.8 million to spend on COVID concerns. 

Section 7101 gives Amtrak about $1.7 million (in case you wanted to get somewhere at a speed that may cause suicidal thoughts by the time the journey ends).

Section 7102 gives airports $8 billion (oh, boy, will they still be able to afford CNN?!). 

Section 7601 bestows on the Corporation for Public Broadcasting $175 million.  They’re supported by viewers like you (whether you want to or not). 

There are a few other parts of the bill that are nearly as bad, usually masquerading as something intended to help workers, while really doing the opposite, but the above gives you the idea.

Democrats in Congress and the White House aren’t too dumb to balance the budget.  They’re just greedy and owned by every special interest group in Washington. 

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